At odds with ones feelings

January 19, 2011

Celebrating is an odd thing.  Today I spent some of my time thinking and writing.  Not something easily measured.  I spend some of my time celebrating me…kind of egotistical isn’t it.  But it’s my birthday and a friend gave me a free dinner for two at a local restaurant, so we celebrated.  Oh, yea, I also ate several chocolate chip cookies today in honor of myself…such a party animal I am.

Thinking, writing, celebrating, eating.  And then there were the times grieving, weeping, and praying for a friend lost in himself and his wife lost without him.  From my vantage point everything is different.  I know few people as blessed and privileged as I am.  I’ve been married to my best friend for over thirty-four years.  Not many are lucky enough to have a best friend that long, let alone be able the talk with them every day.

So when I see a friend act like a total self-centered jerk, and for him to somehow be blind to it, I’m baffled and perplexed.   My friend is intelligent, so he has to see and know the truth, but right now he prefers to use his brain, and he is looking at life through distorted lenses, so instead of begging forgiveness  he pouts like a spoiled child who didn’t get what he wanted for Christmas.

And I am at a total loss for what to do or say.  We weep and pray with and for his wife, and ask God for wisdom for something that seems foolish.  I think I almost feel what friends and relatives of senseless violence must feel.  Not exactly, I’m sure.  But hurt, confusion, and on top of that, bafflement.

I guess that is what life is; a constant amalgamation of the mundane with the momentous, the fun with the frustrating,  the outstanding with the abysmal.   But in the meantime we must not give up HOPE!And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”  (Matthew 38:30)

Thank God for his blessings and promises.

I am so grateful for my wife.


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