Grow up!! Wait, wait, I didn’t mean it!

July 18, 2010

I remember my dad asking me, “When are you gonna grow up?”  Usually I would give a very mature response such as, “When will you give me more responsibility?”  And I said it without whining some of the time.

I think it is a universal conundrum for parents, they want their kids to mature, but not too fast.  They want their kids to be responsible, but they don’t want to give them responsibility.  They want their babies to get on with their lives, but to still come home for advise.  I have a friend who’s child no longer wants dinosaur curtains, and is even ready to give away some of his toys.  What anguish this maturing is causing.  Maybe mom is feeling old?  Maybe she wants to hold on a bit longer?  Maybe…well, if you have kids you know that growing pains happen to parents as much as they afflict children.

Mom and dad are trying to keep in mind the things they will gain and not those they will loose, but there is still pain.  Of course, in addition to the loss of their “little one” comes the fears; fears surrounding dating, friendships, driving, choices.  Kids will break out hearts  over and over again.  Sons will no longer want a kiss goodbye at school, they may even want to be dropped off blocks from school.  Daughters will no longer think mom is the smartest person on the planet, even if she is. Kids won’t come to you for advice any longer, but you must continue to give it.  Kids will say they want freedom, even as they need a reinforcement of boundaries.  This is not a fun time for anyone, parents or kids.

But one thing your kids will need to be told every day, preferably two or three times a day.  “I love you.”  Even when you don’t particularly like your kids, keep telling them that you love them.  For most kids, that’s the only thing they need to hear.  Well, it’s the only thing that they will think matters, seeing how your IQ has dropped so precipitously in recent months.

Keep loving them.  Keep guiding, directing, challenging them.  Keep a loose hold on the boundary lines, but keep hold none the less.  Teach them responsibility even as you give them liberty.  It may feel like a war, but your kids are not the enemy.

But go ahead and weep.


One Response to “Grow up!! Wait, wait, I didn’t mean it!”

  1. pigs funny, dinosaurs not said

    Dinosaur curtains are still up … pig flinger has resurfaced … and we are in the market for a new potato gun … but I have a hunch the curtains will have to come down before September, and I will be told this while a pig is flying over my head (imagine that … curtains come down when pigs fly!) …. me so funny.

    Thanks for the reminder my friend.

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