Mom, how to raise kids who love their dad.

June 9, 2010

Yesterday I shared a few ideas with dads about how to raise kids who love their moms.  Today I would like to speaks to moms for a moment.  Hopefully these thoughts will encourage and not discourage you.  More importantly, hopefully they will help you and your spouse raise loving children.

1.  Love them with your language. The way you talk to, with, or about your spouse speaks volumes.  You will have disagreements, you will think they are being unwise at times (because at times they are).  But since you want your children to be respectful, the best way to teach that is to be respectful.  It is a fine art (but it can be learned) to disagree respectfully.  And if you put your spouse down publicly, eventually your children will hear it.

2.  Love them with thier language. Some people like touch, some like gifts.  Some feel loved by acts of service, others are moved by positive words, while others treasure your time more than anything.  Learn your spouses love language.  When you “speak” the language that best communicates with your spouce, you communicate to them and to your children that dad is a treasure.  And it teaches your kids how to communicate value.   For more information about the love languages, check out

3.  Demand respect and command respect. I said this in my last post, but it bears repeating.  Children must absolutely speak and act respectfully to their parents.  There should be no exceptions.  Of course as partners and parents we also need to communicate, even great frustrations, with respectful language and actions.  This one tool alone can be your best when it comes to raising kids who love and respect their parents.

Sometimes we need to be reminded that it takes a lifetime to raise kids.  It’s not something you can do in a weekend.  It’s not something you can do in a year.  hat is both good and bad news. The bad news is that it can only take a moment to undo a lot of effort.  The good news is we can start over, and over, and over.  Communicate with your children, and your spouse about your success and failures.  The reason we need a Savior is because we are imperfect people.  But together we can build families that love cherish and enjoy each other.


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