Dad…How to raise kids who love their mom.

June 8, 2010

There are three simple things every dad can and should do that will go a long, long way toward raising kids who treat their mom, their dates, and eventually their spouses the way they aught to be treated.  OK so they are not so simple, but you only need to know three things.  And if you practice these three habits, your spouse will love you too.

1.  Show your kids how to love someone by loving their mother. Publicly and privately, let everyone know that your wife is a blessing to you.  Don’t be afraid to show affection to your wife in front of the kids.  Your PDA will teach your kids the appropriate way to display affection to someone they care about.  Just as important as affection is the hard love.  Tell her you love her, out loud, and then love her by the way you treat her.  Oh, yea, and by the way you treat unpleasant tasks that have to be done around the house  as well.   Yes, if you purposely choose to do hard or dirty chores so your wife doesn’t have to your kids will notice.

2.  Show your daughter that you love her by doting on her mother. Make your wife the apple of your eye  and your daughter will grow up to be a peach of a kid.  This is really, really important.  If you only have the time or energy, or whatever it takes to dote on one person- that person absolutly must be your wife.  Your daughter will feel more safe at home and more secure away from home.  She will know how she should expect to be treated and will be less likely put up with any kind of abuse from boyfriends.

3.  Demand respect, but also command respect. You should absolutely not allow your children to be disrespectful of you or your wife.  Disrespectful behavior should immediately be  dealt with, and your children should know that respect is an absolute must: a non-negotiable in your family.  But you can go a long way in avoiding disrespectful behavior by living the kind of life in front of your kids that leave them in awe of you.  Not because you are so cool, so intelligent or so rich, but because you live what you believe in public and private.  This means you apologize and confess when you blow it (and you will).  It also means that you make Jesus the Lord of your house, that you openly talk about tough choices and decisions, then you make the tough choices and decisions…even when it is costly.  They will learn that the right thing to do is always the right thing to do.

Your kids will learn what following Jesus is about, and they will learn how to treat others (as well as how they should be treated).  Most of all, they will learn how much you love their mom and will love and respect you both because of it.

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One Response to “Dad…How to raise kids who love their mom.”

  1. Sue said

    I raised my children without an (earthly) father present in the house….but my Heavenly Father has been present, always.

    I haven’t known the love of a husband, but the respect of a younger colleague in the school I work at taught me that this principal you’re presenting is true. When a leader/teacher/parent/friend shows respect and love for another in front of children, everyone learns how to respect and love each other! The entire classroom of children that I worked with respected and loved me because of a tremendously encouraging and loving Teacher who went out of his way to express his confidence in me, everyday, in words and attitude. For me personally, it was wonderful to experience that kind of support. Even better were the results in the classroom and the children who were proof that when adults respect and love each other, children will learn to do the same.

    I appreciate your writing about those principals in a family. These worked for me in the classroom. Thanks!

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