What they are is what they will become

August 11, 2009

01-05-09 052If we allow our boys and young men to behave badly, to show disrespect to women and girls, to act like highly paid, but morally bankrupt  media stars, then they will grow up to be disrespectful, mean adults.  Why is that so hard to figure out?  Why isn’t it more obvious to parents?  Why do we let it happen?  Chapter 24 is titled Dress Your Son in Respect. It discusses the horrible way young men treat girls and women, how they learn this behavior from the media, and it is reinforced by radical feminism.  And this chapter reminds us that we can make a difference.

Where should a young man look for direction?  “As for the boys, themselves?  Well, they don’t seem to have any place to look for direction, boundaries, and what their roles should be.  Society doesn’t teach them to be gentlemen anymore….acts of respect and thoughtfulness are gone.” (page 224)  The answer, as simple as it sounds, is us.  We need to teach with words and actions how others, men, women, boys and girls should be treated.  We need to model respect.

“The problem is a failure to teach our sons what it truly means to be a strong, masculine, respectful male.  And, of course of disrespectful behavior continues to increas in the teen years, it will only manifest itself more powerfully and negatively in marraige.  The sons of today are the husbands and fathers of tomorrow.” (page 225)

“While we as parents can’t magically turn back the clock to a more civilized society in general, we can control what we teach about how to treat others.”  (page 227)

It’s funny, every week, until recently at least, we would spend a few minutes talking to kids about how we should, treat others  the way we want to be treated.  Elementary kids get it; older ones do as well.  Ask your son, “would it be alright if people treated your mother or sister like that?  Would you like to be treated like that?”  When we expect respect as the norm in our home and in our presence we teach our kids valuable lessons, those lessons stick.   If we don’t allow our sons to be disrespectful, it also sends a message to our daughters that they do not have to put up with bad behavior.

Of course dads, for this to work you have to treat your wives with respect-all the time.

30 Ways in 30 Days to Save Your Family, 2009, Rebecca Hagelin, Regenery Press


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