Remember modesty?

August 10, 2009

DSCN1027“”Set clothing standards for your daughter that reflect she is to be respected and admired for who she truly is”  (page 215) The chapter title says it all.  We can have men and boys looking at our daughter with lust or with  respect, but rarely if ever, both.  So parents, what will it be?  You do have a say in the matter, you know that don’t you?  As a pastor to children nothing frustrates me more than parents who approve of their little girls dressing like prostitutes.  “Face it: little girls dress according to what their mommies allow.  I thought mothers were supposed to model virtue for their daughters, to teach them to value themselves and their bodies.  What chance does a little girl stand of keeping her childhood or innocence intact when it’s mommy that’s driving her to the store and paying for the thongs, the itty-bitty skirts, the hipster jeans and the plunging neckline?” (page 216)

Hagelin offers one of the most practical, loving,, helpful suggestions I have heard on the subject…talk to your child.  “…as your mom-the on who loves you more than anyone else in the world could possibly love you, and who deeply understands the need and desire to feel attractive-commit to you that I’m going to help make sure you dress in a way that shows your inner character, reveals your true beauty, individuality, and the fact that you are not just a toy.  So we’ll have only one rule before we buy something:we both have to like it. That’s it.  That means that you won’t try to convince me to buy an item that I think is inappropriate.  And it also means that I will not try and force you to wear something you think is dorky.”  (page 217)

Do you realize how valuable you will make your daughter feel if you say this, mean it and stick with it?  Wow!  Yes shopping will take longer, but you will both be on the same team -your daughters- and she will be the winner in every positive way.

Remember…””Your daughters are looking to you for direction and protection.  Your little girls want you to set loving standards, to let them know they are of value.  And there isn’t anyone else that’s going to do it.  Our culture has sold our daughters short-will you be guilty of it too?” (page 219)

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