The numb thumb

August 4, 2009

01-05-09 348

My thumb is numb.  About a year ago I was working with power tools (Ominous music plays here.)  I was leaning hard into my drill/driver, trying to get a three inch screw in place.  The bit slipped off the screw and slammed into my thumb, shredding the thumbnail and crushing the right side of my thumb, creating a large bloody gash.  Yes it felt as bad as it sounds.   It eventually healed, leaving a scar only I can notice, and it left the tip of my thumb numb.  Not a big deal most of the time.  It’s my right thumb so I never pick up change with it; I don’t use my thumb to pick my nose, even when no one is looking.  So most of the time it is no big deal.

So why do I even notice my numb thumb?  Because it holds a guitar pick.  And if I am not using a grippy, textured pick, as soon as I stop thinking about it I loose my pick into the sound hole or it slips to the floor or flips across the room.  Because of the invention of textured picks it’s not much of a problem, but, well, I always must use a textured pick.  A very small inconvenience in the larger scheme of things.

So why all this chatter about a bit of of flesh?  I damaged my thumb by misusing my tools and abilities, leaving a scar and a numb spot.  I think when I examine my life in general I probably have a few scars, and a few numb spots because I have misused things.  Relationships that are not as strong as they should be because I spoke  too harshly once too often.  I sometimes find myself numb to the needs of others because I am spending too much time worrying about myself.  (Notice all the “I’s in this paragraph?) I don’t feel the pain for the lost the way I should.  I don’t notice the hurt in another’s voice or in their eyes because I have allowed scar tissue to form.

How about you?  Are there areas in your life that are numb or scar covered?  Are you missing out because of a lack of feeling?  Most of the time we don’t even notice that we are missing things; that we are less alive. The pain of others cam become a simple inconvenience, a dropped pick.   That makes me sad.

Fortunately I have noticed that some of my scars have faded away, and other are disappearing.   So I pray that God will heal those scars that make me numb to the needs and hurts of others.  I pray that I will be sensitive to the impact of my own voice, and I pray that I will be aware of the hurts and needs of others, even if the only thing I can do is pray, that is something.

And of course if that numb thumb goes away, so will one more excuse for my bumbling guitar playing.

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